Animal Jokes

76
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    No teeth bear

    Q: What kind of bear has no teeth?
    A: A gummy bear



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Elephant eat

    *** Animal Jokes ***

    Q. Why did the elephant eat the candle? A. He wanted a light snack!



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Long story

    One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance. The fish said to itself, “If that fly comes six inches closer, I’ll jump up and have myself a meal.” Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, ” if that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and i’ll catch the fish and have myself a meal.” As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, “If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and i’ll shoot the bear.” Just then, a rat was standing behind the hunter saying to itself,” if that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear, and i’ll grab the sandwich from the back pocket of the hunter. However, unbeknown to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking, “If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will grab the sandwich, and I’ll snatch the rat.” At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches, the fish grabbed the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear, the rat grabbed the sandwich, the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake. The moral of this story is: If the fly drops six inches the pussy cat will get wet.



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Zoo trip

    *** Animal Jokes ***

    I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today. We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!” I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us. “What did you just call it?” I asked. “It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Sore throat

    Q. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A. A little horse