Posted on 09/04/2017
2 Anniversary Gifts
Two best friends got married on the same date and...meet every year after their anniversaries at their favorite bar. One was fortunate to be really successful and the other lives a sort of mediocre life. They start discussing what they got their wife's for their anniversaries. The rich guy begins by discussing his gift. "Yea, I got my wife a diamond jewelry set...and a new Mercedes Benz" "Wow, 2 gifts this year!" the poorer friend responds. "Yea, I got her the Benz just in case she doesn't like the jewelry set, she can use the Benz to drive to the jewelry store and exchange it". "Sounds Reasonable." "What you get your wife?" "I got her a set of slippers and a dildo" " What's the deal with the dildo?" " Oh, I got her the dildo that way if she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself"
You were by my side
*** Anniversary Jokes ***
Husband woke up after surgery... He called his wife to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. Well, now that I think about it, I think you bring me bad luck!
A nice Italian couple at St. Peter's Catholic Church in Toronto, they have weekly husbands' marriage seminars. At the session last week, the priest asked Giuseppe, who said he was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years. Giuseppe replied to the assembled husbands, 'Wella, I'va tried to treat her nicea, spenda da money on her, but besta of all is, I tooka her to Italy for the 25th anniversary!' The priest responded, 'Giuseppe, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary? Giuseppe proudly replied, " I gonna go picka her up."
50th Wedding Anniversary
A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he's getting sentimental because they're celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, "No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a shotgun and said he'd have me thrown in jail for 50 years if I didn't marry you. Tomorrow I would've been a free man!"