Engineer Jokes

18
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Medical Problem

    Doctor Saab, Main Jab Bhi Apni Biwi Ki Leta Hun Toh Andar Jaa Ke Mera Teda Ho Jaata Hai. Doctor Ko Yakeenn Nahi Hota. Vo Engineer Ko Kehta Hai Ki Apni Biwi Ko Clinic Mein Lekar Aao. Kuch Time K Baad Engineer Apni Biwi Ko Lekar Aata Hai Aur Doctor Ke Saamne Us Ke Saath S*x Karta Hai. Doctor Maze Le Lekar Dekhta Rehta Hai. Phir Bahana Banate Hue Kehta Hai Ki Baad Mein Aana Aur Unko Vaha Se Bhej Deta Hai. Kuch Din Baad Kisi Shaadi Mein Doctor Apne Doston Ke Saath Engineer Ka Mazaak Udaa Raha Hota Hai Ki Kaise Us Bewakoof Ne Apni Biwi Ke Saath Mere Saamne S*x Kiya. Dusri Taraf Engineer Apne Doston Ke Saath Khada Ho Ke Us Doctor Ka Mazaak Udaate Hue Kehta Hai, "Yaar Kuch Din Pehle Ek Tharki Ladki Mil Gayi, Per Karne Ki Jagah Nahin Mili Toh Is Doctor Ke Clinic Mein Jaakar Meine S*x Kiya!"



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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Perspective

    *** Engineer Jokes ***

    To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

    Related:

    Engineer



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Slow Golfers

    A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. " Whats with these guys ", says the engineer " We must have been waiting for over 2 5 minutes!!. " I don't know " answers the doctor, " but I've never seen such ineptitude!!. " Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Lets have a word with him, and find out who these guys are ". says the priest, who then turns around and says " Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us, they are rather slow, aren't they? George: " Oh yes. Thats a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight while saving our club house last year. So we let them play anytime free of charge! " That's so sad " says the priest, " I'll say a special prayer for them tonight ". " Good idea ", replies the doctor "And I am going to contact my Opthalmologist buddy and ask him if there's anything he can do for them. "That's all well and good, says the engineer, " but why can't these guys just play at night?



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Oldest Profession

    *** Engineer Jokes ***

    A physician, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing about whose profession was the oldest. The surgeon announced, "Remember how God removed a rib from Adam to create Eve? Obviously, medicine is the oldest profession. " The engineer replied, "But before that, God created the heavens and the earth from chaos, in less than a week. You have to admit that was a remarkable feat of engineering, and that makes engineering an older profession than medicine." The lawyer smirked, and said, "Who do you think created the chaos?"



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    The Accident

    A Software Engineer, a Hardware Engineer and a Departmental Manager were on their way to a meeting. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do? "I know," said the Departmental Manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way." "No, no," said the Hardware Engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we can be on our way." "Well," said the Software Engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."