Funny Quotes Jokes

450
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Jerry Lewis on Dual Personality

    “The Doc told me I had a dual personality. Then he lays an 82 dollar bill on me, so I give him 41 bucks and say, 'Get the other 41 bucks from the other guy.'”



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Richard Herring - Motto

    *** Funny Quotes Jokes ***

    It's important to live your life by a motto. I chose to live my life by the motto, 'My enemy's enemy is my friend.' Unfortunately, as it turns out, my enemy is his own worst enemy. So, I have to invite him to barbecues.'



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Josie Long - Couple

    When I was a kid, I asked my mum what a couple was and she said, 'Oh, two or three'. And she wonders why her marriage didn't work out.'



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Red Buttons - Trust

    *** Funny Quotes Jokes ***

    "I don't trust that man. Before he gave his business cards out, he shuffled them.'



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Nick Helm - 8 characters

    “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”