Women Jokes

29
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Confucious say : for snack

    "Woman who go to man's apartment for snack, gets tit-bit."

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Years in marriage

    *** Women Jokes ***

    In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Different position

    HUSBAND: Shall we try a different position tonight? WIFE: That's a great idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    3 mugs of beer

    *** Women Jokes ***

    A cowgirl walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Budweiser. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my husband and I joined the church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my sisters, though."

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Perfect Floor

    Two girlfriends are on vacation when they see a five-storey store advertising men for sale. They go in and see a first-floor sign that reads ‘All the men on this floor are short and ugly.’ The women decide to take the elevator to the next floor. There the sign reads, ‘All the men here are short and handsome.’ This isn’t good enough, so the women continue up. On the third floor the sign reads, ‘All the men here are tall and ugly.’ The women want to do better so they keep going. On the fourth floor the sign reads, ‘All the men here are tall and handsome.’ The women get excited but decide to see what’s on the fifth floor. There they find a sign that reads, ‘No men here. This floor was built to prove there’s no way to please a woman.’

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