The Difficult Climb Posted on 22/11/2016
Three friends shared an apartment on the 100th floor of a building. One day returning late at night they realized that all the lifts in the building were out of order. After much discussion they decided to climb all the way to the apartment. To pass the time the first friend narrated the story of a romantic novel he had just read. Once his story finished by the 47th floor the second friend decided to cheer his friends and narrated a story of the latest comedy film he had watched. They were on the 99th floor when this story had finished. The third friend feeling obliged finally said "We are finally here and i just remembered a really good tragic tale." "Enough stories for a day brother and more so there is only a single floor to go" The first friend said in a tired voice. "Please. It is a very short story of a single line" the third friend pleaded. "Lets here it then" the second friend said waiting for some stupid jibberish. The third friend finally related the tale that brought tears in their eyes. "There were once three friends who climbed 100 floors to their apartment and one of them forgot the apartment keys in the car."
Hand in Marriage Posted on 22/11/2016
A guy went to his girlfriend's house to ask her father's permission for marriage. After some brief chitchat the discussion comes to the point... Girls Father : "Young man, I am not a fan of lengthy discussions and stories. Just summarize in one sentence why do you want my daughters hand?" The guy thinks for a while, and then replies, "Well, sir, you see... my hand has grown kind of tired by now..."
Id the body Posted on 22/11/2016
Stanley died in a fire and his body was burned badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best deer hunting friends, Cooter and Gomer. The three men had always hunted and fished together and were long time members of a hunting camp. Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Stanley ."The mortician thought this was rather strange, So he brought Gomer in to confirm the identity of the body. Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Stanley." The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" Gomer said, "Well, Stanley had two ass-holes." "What! He had two ass-holes?" asked the mortician. "Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, there's Stanley with them two ass-holes."
Multi Syllables Posted on 22/11/2016
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Fatherly Advise Posted on 22/11/2016
A man watching his son gamble everyday advises him "Son, gambling is an addiction that will lead you nowhere. Whatever you may win today you are sure to lose more tomorrow" The son looks back at his father. "Thanks for your advise dad. I get it, to win consistently i must play on alternate days."
Thanksgiving for blacks Posted on 21/02/2017
Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? A: KFC isnt open on holidays.
Why blacks are fast Posted on 21/02/2017
Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because all the slow ones are in prison.
Stop black man from drowning Posted on 21/02/2017
Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Take your foot off the back of his head.
Hate country music Posted on 21/02/2017
Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because when they hear the word “hoedown” they think their sister got shot.
Black pilot Posted on 21/02/2017
Q: What do you call a black pilot flying a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.
Shot 32 times Posted on 21/02/2017
Q: What did the Alabama sherriff call the black man who had been shot 32 times? A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.