Posted on 22/11/2016
Give a man a fish and he will have food for one day. Teach him to catch fish and he will spend all day at the lake drinking beer.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back.
When the past comes knocking, don't answer. It has nothing new to tell you.
Q: Why are boyfriends like cars?
A: Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
As gross as it may sound, long ago, mohels (people who performed circumcisions) would sometimes keep and save the foreskins they circumcised. And grosser still is the fact that sometimes they would sew them together to make things. And once, a long time ago there was a mohel who performed more circumcisions than all other mohels. And one day he was talking to a friend of his and the friend asked, "You've performed so many circumcisions, have you made anything from the foreskins?" And the mohel said that yes, he had made a wallet from all the foreskins he had collected. The friend said, "You've circumsised so many children, you must have collected dozens of foreskins, and all you have made is a wallet?" And the mohel replied, "I know it's just a wallet. But when you rub it, it turns into a briefcase."
Posted on 22/11/2016
Pregnant black woman
How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.
Santa was suffering from a terrible headache, so he went to see his doctor, a young, recent medical graduate. The young doctor listened to him carefully and told him, "Go home, Lie down on your tummy, Open your arse wide, and ask your wife to pour some gin up your arse-hole." "What???" said Santa. The headache was really killing him, so Santa went home and, very skeptically, tried out what the doctor told him. And guess what, the headache vanished! So Santa goes running back to the doc, and says, "Doctor, doctor, where did you learn this amazing cure?" And the doctor replies modestly, "Oh that's nothing. They taught us this on our very first day in medical school" "Really?" says Santa, "This is what they taught you in medical school?" "Yes, of course. They said for a headache you should always prescribe Anal-gin.
Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Alok Nath had all senior citizen privileges since he was 6 years old.
Q: What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?
A: Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. Q: How did the birthday child respond?
A: You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you"
Jokes on snakes
Q: Why can't you play jokes on snakes?
A: Because you can never pull their legs