Posted on 22/11/2016
A cowboy was riding in the planes one day when he came across a Indian stark naked lying flat on his back with a hard on. The cowboy asked him what he was doing. The Indian replied "I'm telling time." The cowboy asked him what time it was. The Indian replied "it's 11:45." After looking as his pocket watch, the cowboy replied "you're right" A little while latter the cowboy came across another Indian stark naked lying flat on his back with a hard on. The Cowboy again asked him what he was doing. He replied "I'm telling time" The cowboy asked him what time it was. The Indian replied "it's 1:15". The cowboy looked as his pocket watch and said "you're right". A short while latter the same cowboy came across a Indian stark naked lying on the ground jacking off. The cowboy asked him what he was doing. He replied "I'm winding my watch"
At a football game two Texans were seated behind two nuns. One Texan said to his friend, "I can't wait to get back to Dallas. There are only ten Catholics there." His buddy replied, "I can't wait to get back to Houston. There are only five Catholics there." Finally, one of the nuns commented, "You both should go to Hell! There aren't any Catholics there!"
3 mugs of beer
A cowgirl walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Budweiser. She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time." The cowgirl replies, "Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," she explains, "It's just that my husband and I joined the church and I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my sisters, though."