Posted on 22/11/2016
A cowboy rides into town and hitches his horse to a post. He then lifts his horse’s tail and kisses its backside. An old-timer is watching and asks what’s going on. ‘It helps my chapped lips,’ replies the cowboy. ‘Y’ mean kissing a horse’s ass cures ’em?’ says the old timer. ‘It doesn’t cure them,’ replies the cowboy. ‘But it stops me from licking them.’
Reasons to Date a Cowgirl
*** Cowboy Jokes ***
Reason 1 : Cowgirls ride 'em hard and rub 'em down.
First Night Knots
One day, a young cowboy and a cowgirl decided to get married.He was a man of the world and she was an innocent bride with no experience.On the first night of their honeymoon the couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they get into bed, they start exploring each other's bodies. Things are going fine until the bride discovers her husband's penis. "Oh my", she says, "What is that?""Well, darlin", the cowboy says, "That's ma rope". She slides her hands further down and gasps."Oh my goodness. What's them?" she asks."Honey, them's my knots", he answers. Finally, the couple begin to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey. Wait a minute". Her husband, panting a little, asks, "What's the matter honey? Am I hurting you?""No", the bride replies. "Just undo them damn knots.I need more rope!"
*** Cowboy Jokes ***
A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Clinton came on the TV. After a few sips he looked up at the screen and mumbled, "Now there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." Immediately, a customer at the end of the bar got up, walked over, decked him, and left. A few minutes later, the man was finishing his beer when Hillary Clinton appeared on the TV. "She's a horse's ass too," he said. A customer from the other end of the bar got up, walked over, and knocked him off his stool. Damnit!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Clinton country!" "Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"
A cowboy went to a pet store and checked out all the pets available and then decided to buy a talking centipede. The centipede came with his own box that was his house. He took the centipede back to the bunk house with him, and would talk to him every evening when he got back from his duties. On Sunday morning, the cowboy approached the centipede's box and said to the centipede through the doorway on the box, "Hey, Cent, how 'bout getting up and going to church with me?" He heard no answer from within the box, so he spoke a little louder and said, "Hey, Cent, what do you think about getting up and going to church with me?" Still no answer from the box, so the cowboy shouts, "Hey, Cent, how 'bout gettin' your ass up and going to worship with me this fine Sunday morning?" Finally from within the box the centipede shouts back, "I HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME. I'M PUTTING MY SHOES ON!"