Posted on 22/11/2016
After the cowboy had been served in a Las Vegas cocktail lounge, he beckoned the waitress back and said quietly, “Miss, y’all sure are a luvly, luvly lady; can ah persuade y’all to give me a piece of ass?” “Lord, that’s the most direct proposition I’ve ever had!” gasped the girl. Then she looked around the room, smiled and added, “Sure, why not? You’re nice lookin’ too and it’s pretty slow here right now, so why don’t we just slip away up to my room?” When the pair returned half an hour later, the man sat down at the same table and the waitress asked, “Will there be anything else, sir?” “Why yes,” replied the cowboy. “Ah sure ‘preciate what y’all just did for me; it was real sweet and right nighborly, but where ah come from in Georgia, we lack our bourbon real cold, so ah still need to trouble y’all for a piece uh ass for mah drink.”
Off the Bridge
A tough looking group of hairy cowboy bikers are riding when they see a girl about to jump off a bridge, so they stop. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he doesn’t want to appear insensitive, he also doesn’t want to miss an opportunity, so he asks, "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" She does, and it is a long, deep, lingering kiss. After she's finished, the tough, hairy biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I’ve ever had! That's a real talent you’re wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl…"
A cowboy rides into town and hitches his horse to a post. He then lifts his horse’s tail and kisses its backside. An old-timer is watching and asks what’s going on. ‘It helps my chapped lips,’ replies the cowboy. ‘Y’ mean kissing a horse’s ass cures ’em?’ says the old timer. ‘It doesn’t cure them,’ replies the cowboy. ‘But it stops me from licking them.’