Drunk Jokes

197
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Russian and Holy Water

    Q: What do Russians get when mixing Holy Water with Vodka?
    A: The Holy Spirit!



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Sitting at a bar

    *** Drunk Jokes ***

    A woman is sitting at a bar, enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends, when an exceptionally tall, handsome, sexy young man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young man noticed her overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward her. Before she could offer her apologies for being rude and staring, the young man said to her ''I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to so, no matter how kinky, for $100, on one condition.'' Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, ''You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words.'' The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse five $20 bills, which she slowly counted into the young man's outstretched hand. She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly, meaningfully, said ''Clean my house.''



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    I love you

    Boy: "I love you so much, I could never live without you." Girl: "Is that you or the beer talking?" Boy: "It's me talking to the beer."

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    What is a bartender?

    *** Drunk Jokes ***

    A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

    Related:

    Bartender



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Man & Duck

    A man walks into a bar with a duck on his head. The bartender says, "May I help you, sir?" The duck replies, "Yeah. Help me get this human out of my ass."