unclejokes jumbotron image

Drunk Jokes

197
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Drunk Joke

    One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him." So, he goes over to the man and taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me sir," he starts, "but I noticed you look just like me!" The second man turns around and says "Yeah, I noticed the same thing, where you from?", "I'm from Dublin", second man stunned says, "Me too! What street do you live on?", "McCarthy street", second man replies, "Me too! What number is it?", the first man announces, "162", second man shocked says, "Me too! What are your parents names?", first man replies, "Connor and Shannon", second man awestruck says, "Mine too! This is unbelievable!" So, they buy some more Guinness and they're talking some more when the bartenders change shifts. The new bartender comes in and goes up to the other bartender and asks "What's new today?" "Oh, the Murphy twins are drunk again."

  • loading...
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Moosehead Beer

    *** Drunk Jokes ***

    Q. How can you tell if a guy likes Moosehead? A. By the antler marks on his thighs!

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Web Surfing

    How do barmen surf the web? On the Gin-ternet.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Free Beer

    *** Drunk Jokes ***

    A neutron walks into a bar. "Id like a beer" he says. The bartender promptly serves up a beer. "How much will that be?" asks the neutron. "For you?" replies the bartender, "no charge."

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Jumper Cables

    A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets em down on the bar. And then the bartender said "Now dont you start anything!"