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Fat Skinny Short Tall Jokes

62
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Seafood

    He's on a seafood diet... When he sees food, he eats it!

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Weighing Machine

    A man is standing on the bathroom scales desperately sucking in his stomach. ‘That’s not going to help,’ says his wife. ‘Yes, it will,’ replies the man. ‘It’s the only way I can see the numbers.’

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Fat meets Skinny

    One day a really skinny man was walking along when he met a really fat man.The fat man said, "Looks like you've been in a famine." So the skinny man said, "Looks like you caused it."

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Eating Joints

    You ever accidentally go up to a real big fat person, and you accidentally ask them for a good place to eat? And they look at you and say they don't know. And you're looking at them, like, 'You do know. I bet if I follow you for an hour, we gonna be eatin'. '

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    The Surgery

    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honour their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman’s new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty. One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, ‘Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.There is no way I could ever repay you.’‘My darling,’ he replied, ‘think nothing of it. I get all the thanks Ineed every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.’