Men Women Jokes

466
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Waste

    Q : Why is the space between a woman's breasts and hips called a waist?
    A: Because you could fit another pair of tits in there..



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    20th Anniversary

    *** Men Women Jokes ***

    A married couple went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate their 20th wedding anniversary. While driving home the wife saw a tear coming from her husband’s eye. “Are you happy that we have spent 20 splendid years together?” she said. He said, “No. I was just thinking about our wedding and how your father threatened me with a shotgun that is I didn’t marry you right then he would have me thrown in prison for 20 years. Tomorrow I could have been free!”

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Bad Weather

    Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck and down the driveway he goes. As he is coming out of his garage rain is pouring down, it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. Minutes later, he returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed. There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible." To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?"

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Men and Mascara

    *** Men Women Jokes ***

    Q: What do men and mascara have in common?
    A: They both run at the first sign of emotion.



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Whose the Boss

    A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said: "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers," she said. "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the one who wears the trousers in this relationship." With that she flipped him her knickers and said: "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your knickers!" She replied: "That's right... and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."