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Miscellaneous Jokes

181
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    One Liner

    A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet.

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Awesome Daughter

    *** Miscellaneous Jokes ***

    Daughter: Mommy, what's it like to have the most awesome daughter in the world ? Mother: I don't know, ask your grandmother.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Hair Color

    Three girls are sitting together at a bar: a blonde, a brunette, and a girl with green hair. A man walks up to them and says "You girls have beautiful hair. Do you dye it?" The blonde looks at him and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural." The brunette looks at him and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural." Finally the green haired girl sneezes into her hand and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural."

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Whoose the father

    *** Miscellaneous Jokes ***

    A woman is just about to give birth in the hospital when she says to the doctor, "Doc, do me a favor. Tell me what color the baby is as it's being born." The doctor is understandably a little puzzled at this. "Why don't you know what color the child is going to be?" "Well", says the woman, "The problem is that I'm a porno actress and the child was conceived during the making of a film. I have no idea who the father is." "OK", says the doctor, "I'll do it for you but it is most unusual." The baby begins to be born and the doctor says, "Here comes the head, it seems to have yellow skin and the eyes are slanted. Was one of the actors Chinese?" "Yes, doctor he was.", says the woman. "Wait", says the doctor," The chest and arms are out and they seem to be very dark. Was one of the actors black?" "Yes, doctor he was." "Wait, now the legs are out and they're brown. Was one of the actors Asian?" "Yes, doctor he was." So the doctor pulls the baby free and gives it the traditional slap on the back. The baby lets out a healthy "Waaaahh" and starts crying. "Oh, thank God for that!", says the woman, "For a moment there, I expected it to bark!"

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    What to say

    Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop".