Profession Jokes

295
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Drug Dealers Vs Software Engineers

    1) The first drug is free The trial version of softwares are offered for free 2) Have important South-Asia connections (to help move the stuff) Have important South-Asia connections (to help debug the code) 3) Strange jargon: "Stick", "Rock", "Dime bag", "E" Strange jargon: "TCP/IP", "XML", "Java", "SQL" 4) Realize that there's a ton of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market Realize that there's a ton of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market 5) Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, more potent mixes Job is assisted by industry's producing newer, faster machines 6) Often seen in the company of pimps and hustlers Often seen in the company of marketing people and venture capitalists 7) Their products cause unhealthy addictions. DOOM. Quake. SimCity. Duke Nukem 3D.; Enough said. 8) Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you Damn! Damn! DAMN!

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    IT Joke

    *** Profession Jokes ***

    A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field." "You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist. "I do" replies the man. "How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone." The man below replies, "You must work in management." "I do," replies the balloonist, "But how'd you know?" "Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    iPhone 6 plus

    How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6 plus? Don't worry, they'll let you know.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    The Picture

    *** Profession Jokes ***

    George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."

    Related:

    Lawyer



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Windows

    Who needs rocks? Windows breaks itself…