Posted on 22/11/2016
The father told his son that he would buy him a new car if he got all A's on his report card, read the Bible all the way through, and cut his long hair. Finally the son brought a report card home with all A's and stated that he had read the bible all the way through. "What about the hair cut?" asked the father. The son replied, "I read the Bible, and Jesus and the Apostles wore their hair long." The father replied, "Then you also know that they walked everywhere."
*** Religion Jokes ***
A Bible group study leader says to his group, “What would you do if you knew you only had four weeks left before the great Judgment Day?” A gentleman says, ”I would go out into my community and minister the Gospel to those that have not yet accepted the Lord into their lives.” “Very good!” says the group leader. One lady speaks up and says enthusiastically, “I would dedicate all of my remaining time to serving God, my family, my church, and my fellow man with a greater conviction.” “That's wonderful!” the group leader comments. One gentleman in the back finally speaks up loudly and says, “I would go to my mother-in-laws house for the four weeks.” The group leader asks, “Why your mother-in-law’s home?” “Because that will make it the longest four weeks of my life!”
New Yorkers at the gate
God gets a call from St. Peter. Peter says, "Umm...hey, God...there's a bunch of people at the pearly gates who are from New York. I've never seen anyone from New York show up at the gates, so I'm not sure what to do." God says, "Oh, go ahead and let them in." Peter says, "Okay," and hangs up. A few seconds later, Peter calls back and says, "God! I just went back to the pearly gates to tell the people they could come in, and they were gone!" God says, "The people were gone? That's strange." Peter says, "No, not the people. The pearly gates were gone!"