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Social Media Jokes

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Addicted to twitter

    You Know you're addicted to Twitter If People don't invite you out without you tweeting you about it. Because you instantly tweet about everything you do, you no longer see the point of confessing in church. You know where the Twitterers Twanonymous 12-step meetings are held and regularly attend! Before you accept a job you have to find out about their twittering policies! You use variations of the word Twitter as terminology in your tweets (tweetard, twittiquette, twitterrific, etc) Before you go out and do something fun, you think about how you can tweet about it! Your friends and loved ones have organized a Twittervention against you! When you get into arguements with your spouse you subconciously cut them off after they reach 140 characters! You faint everytime you now watch American Idol auditions because you can't watch it on TV, tweet about, and read other peoples tweets without having a nervous breakdown! You send in-office tweets using Twitter shorthand to stay within 140 characters! One-hundred thirty-eight people tweeted you about this page in the morning. You have your real name legally changed to your @twitterName. You've been to your doctor and are now being treated for Twitter Twitch! You get wedding presents from Twitter friends you have never met in real life. You prefer Tweet and Twalking instead of real life conversations with actual people! You've already checked your Twitter account three times before finishing this list! More people know you by your Twitter picture than by what you actually look like. You only use Facebook, when the Twitter servers are down! You are always accidentally trying your Twitter password to log onto things.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Too Fat for twitter

    Q: How do you know your too fat to Twitter? A1: Your man tits don't allow you to see and reach the keyboard! A2: Although your twitters are short and sweet you fat finger the messages!

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Successful Student

    Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Angry bride of wedding night

    Q: What did the angry bride tell the groom on her wedding night?
    A: Her twitter will be unavailable!

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Facebook Status

    Status I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.