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Bear Jokes

17
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Not Hungry Anymore

    Q. Why didn't the teddy bear finish his supper? A. Because he was already stuffed.

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Lies

    *** Bear Jokes ***

    Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. The principal tells her to send Johnny to him the next time he shows up late. He will tell Johnny a lie so big that he will never tell another one. Ever. The next day, Johnny shows up two hours late. Johnny says, "I was two hours early today so I had time to fish in the pond on my way to school. I caught a 17-pound trout and had to take it home. If I didn't clean it and freeze it, my mom would've been angry. That's why I'm so late". The teacher promptly takes him to the principal's office and explains the story to the principal. The principal tells Johnny about his own trip to school that day. He says, "I was walking to school through the park on the trail today when I heard something behind me. I turned around and was shocked to see a giant grizzly bear behind me. He was 24 feet tall and had 6-inch fangs. He was going to eat me, Johnny! Just then a little dog ran out from the bushes, jumped up and attacked the bear. The little dog killed the bear and then ate the whole bear right there in front of me. What do you think of that, Johnny?" Johnny replies, "Oh yeah, that's my dog Sparky. That's his third bear this week."

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Vote

    Q. Where do polar bears vote? A. The North Poll

    Related:

    Bear

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    No teeth bear

    *** Bear Jokes ***

    Q: What kind of bear has no teeth?
    A: A gummy bear

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Lawyer's sneaks

    A lawyer and a zoologist were walking through the woods and attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear. The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them. The lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on. The zoologist looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" The lawyer smiled and looked at him "Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans. I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear." The zoologist was confused "If you know that, why are you changing shoes?" "Well, the way I figure it," the lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear. I only have to outrun you."