Divorce Jokes

22
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Tom Cruise

    Katie holmes has divorced Tom Cruise. I didn't think Rock of Ages was THAT bad. Jay Leno (July 9, 2012)



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Tom Cruise

    *** Divorce Jokes ***

    Q: What do people want to know about the Tomkat divorce settlement?
    A: Did Tom let Katie keep the cage?



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Tom Cruise

    Q: Why did Tom Cruise quickly finalize his divorce with Katie Holmes?
    A: He realized she still wasn't over Dawson.



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Want it back

    *** Divorce Jokes ***

    Man gives blood to save his wife's life. Few months later they are divorced. Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!" Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD."



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    A Virgin

    A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.” “What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?” “Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!” “Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?” “You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”