Posted on 22/11/2016
Tail of woe
Jim took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." The vet stepped back, "Jim, why should I do such a terrible thing?" "Because my mother-in-law's arriving tomorrow, and I don't want anything to make her think she's welcome."
*** Doctor Jokes ***
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette, are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
A blonde was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks.” He said. “The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.” “From hunger, you mean?” “No, from skipping!”
*** Doctor Jokes ***
A woman with brown hair goes to the doctor and tells him "Doctor! I think something is really wrong. My entire body hurts when I touch it." She touches her arm, legs, and stomach screaming in pain each time. The doctor looks at her for a second and asks "Do you dye your hair?" The woman surprised says "Yeah I'm naturally blonde. How did you know?" The doctor replies "That's what I thought, your finger is broken."
A blonde goes to the hospital with both of her ears burnt. The doctor asks her, "How did you manage this?" The blonde replies, "Well I was ironing and recieved a phone call. I accidentally picked up the iron instead of the phone." The doctor says, "That explains one ear." She replies, "Well they called again!"