Honeymoon Jokes

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Confucious say : Infront of car

    "Man who run in front of car get tired"



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Italian Vigins

    *** Honeymoon Jokes ***

    Two Italian virgins marry and go on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, neither knows what to do when they get there. The newlyweds call the groom's mother for advice. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together, snuggle, and things should happen from there. The newlyweds do this, but nothing happens. The groom calls his mother back. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers, and nature should take its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice, but still nothing comes to mind. He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation, she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest spot!" The groom is quiet for a moment and then asks his mother, "I've got my nose in her armpit, now what?"

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Fred and Mary's honeymoon

    Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to mom and dads for the night. In the morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mum if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Is Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, he comes home and asks, "Is Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says, "No." Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "OK! What do you think?" He says, "Well, last night Fred came in for Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

  • Posted on 09/04/2017

    25 years ago

    *** Honeymoon Jokes ***

    An old man and his old wife are in their honeymoon hotel room for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?" He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    1st vs 2nd Honeymoon

    Q: What the difference between your first and second honeymoon?
    A: Niagara and Viagra.