Husband Wife Jokes

50
  • Posted on 09/04/2017

    50th Wedding Anniversary

    Bob and Nancy were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. After 50 years, Bob wanted to know if Nancy was always faithful. Bob asked, "Have you ever cheated on me?" Nancy replied, "Yes, three times." "What?!", yelled Bob, "When?" Nancy said, "Remember when the septic tank flooded back in ’69 and we couldn’t afford to fix it? I convinced the plumber to fix it for free." "And?" Nancy said, "Remember when you needed heart surgery in ’75 and we didn’t have insurance? I had the doctor treat you for free." "And the third time? "Do you remember when you ran for mayor back in ’89 and you were behind by 200 votes..."



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Foul secrets

    *** Husband Wife Jokes ***

    A young couple is on their honeymoon. The husband is sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the bathtub saying to himself, "Now how can I tell my wife that I've got really smelly feet and that my socks absolutely stink? I've managed to keep it from her while we were dating, but she's bound to find out sooner or later that my feet stink. Now how do I tell her?" Meanwhile, the wife is sitting in the bed saying to herself, "Now how do I tell my husband that I've got really bad breath? I've been very lucky to keep it from him while we were courting, but as soon as he's lived with me for a week, he's bound to find out. Now how do I tell him gently?" The husband finally plucks up enough courage to tell his wife and walks into the bedroom. He walks over to the bed, climbs over to his wife, puts his arm around her neck, moves his face very close to hers and says, "Darling, I've got a confession to make." She says, "So have I, love." To which he replies, "Don't tell me, you've eaten my socks."



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Count

    Husband: Tumhare Shaadi Se Pehle Kitne Boyfriend The?? Wife silent... Husband Chilla Ke: Mein Iss Khamoshi Ka Kya Matlab Samjhun? Wife: Haaye Rabba... Gin Toh Rahi Hun.... Chilla Kyun Rahe Ho…



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Lawyer Joke

    *** Husband Wife Jokes ***

    A divorce court judge said to the husband,"Mr Geraghty,I have reviewed this case very carefully and I've decided to give your wife $800 a week." "That's very fair,your honour," he replied. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."



  • Posted on 09/04/2017

    Computer not working

    Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command. Husband: Exactly darling! its a computer, not a Husband..!!