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Jew Jokes

31
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Catholic wife and a Jewish wife

    Q : What's the difference between a catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
    A: A catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery!

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Jewish Santa Claus

    Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus? He came down the chimney and said "Do you want to buy some presents kiddies?"

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Golf

    Two pastors, one Catholic and one Protestant, and a Jewish rabbi were part of a threesome one day on the course. The group ahead of them were playing slow, terrible golf and weren't gesturing for a play-through. After several holes of this agonizingly slow golf the three clerics began to get very impatient, each muttering his own curses upon the group ahead of them. Soon the Marshall came about, and was hailed down by the holy men who shouted, "We're sick of being held-up by these yahoos ahead of us who won't allow us to play through!" The Marshall stated, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but those men are both deaf and blind." The Protestant cried, "Oh, Jesus, forgive me for my bad thoughts and cursing upon those poor souls." The Catholic cried, "Oh forgive me, Mary, for my bad thoughts and cursing upon those poor souls." The rabbi shouted, "So why can't they play at night!?"

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Circumcised Jews

    Q : Why do Jewish men get circumcised?
    A: because Jewish women won't accept anything unless it has at least 20% off.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Blow Job

    One day a nun was standing on the side of the road waiting for a cab. A cab stopped and picked her up. During the ride she noticed that the driver was staring at her. When she asked him why, he said, "I want to ask you something, but I don't want to offend you." She said, "You can't offend me. I have been a nun long enough that I have heard just about everything." The cab driver then said, "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun give me a blow job." She said, "Well, perhaps we can work something out under two conditions.You have to be single, and you have to be Catholic." Immediately the cab driver said, "Oh, yes!I'm single and I'm Catholic!" The nun said, "Okay, pull into that alley." The cab driver pulled into the alley and the nun went to work. Shortly afterwards, the cab driver started crying. The nun said, "My child, what's the matter?" He said tearfully, "Sister, I have sinned. I lied, I lied...I'm married and I'm Jewish!" The nun replied, "That's okay. My name's Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party!"

    Other Tags:

    Racist Jew