Lawyer Jokes

72
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    So Cold

    It was so cold out today, I saw a lawyer put his hands in his own pockets.

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Arguing with a lawyer

    *** Lawyer Jokes ***

    Arguing with a lawyer is like mud wrestling with a pig: after a while you realize that the pig actually enjoys it.

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Just a Thought : Bankruptcy

    How are the Bankruptcy Lawyers paid?

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    $500

    *** Lawyer Jokes ***

    A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"

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  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Lack of Professional

    Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

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