Posted on 22/11/2016
Blind rabbit and snake
A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other. The rabbit says, "You feel me first." The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit. He says, "Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet..." The rabbit says, "I know! I'm a rabbit! Yippee!" Then the rabbit feels the snake. He says, "Okay, you're long and thin, and slimy all over, and there's a little forked tongue..." The snake says, "Oh no!" " I'm a lawyer."
Blond and the Lawyers Bet
*** Lawyer Jokes ***
There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted. The lawyer first asked, “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?” Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50. The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, “What is the answer to your question?” Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5.
Babies mixed up
An American, An Indian and an English man are in the hospital waiting room together, all three of their wives about to give birth. When the doctor comes out and says “I’m terribly sorry, but we’ve had a mix up and we don’t know which baby is which.”. As this is a joke, rather than immediately contacting their lawyers, they agreed amongst themselves that they’d go and see if they could tell, if they felt a special connection to one, for example. The Englishman entered the room first, as is his right, and was in there for 15 minutes, before emerging with what was, for various reasons, clearly the Indian man’s son. The Indian pointed this out immediately and the Englishman replied “I know, but one of the others is American and I’m not taking the risk”
Three housewives were walking in a park. They saw a dog f*cking a b**ch really hard there.
Doctor's Wife: So sweet, now they will have cute puppies.
Lawyer's Wife: No, this is a pure attempt of r*pe, and dog should be hanged.
Major's Wife: Lagta Hai Ke Kutta 6 Mahine Ke Baad Ghar Aya Hai...