Posted on 22/11/2016
What do I look like?
A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?" He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?" Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard. The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says, "Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?" He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?" The next day the husband comes home, and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing. So is the car. He asks his wife what happened. "Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says. "Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls. Wife says: "Nothing. He said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or slept with him." "Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband. "What do I look like," she says, "Betty Crocker?"
Triplets in a womb
*** Plumber Jokes ***
Triplets in a womb discussing what they would be if they were grown up. The first said, " I would be a plumber, so as I can fix the pipes in here, its a bit damp and leaky". The second said, " I would be an electrician and try and get a bit of light in here, its a bit dark". The third said, " I would be a doorman. "The other two babies thought this was hilarious and asked, "why?" He replied, "I'd stop the bald headed bas**rd from coming in here and spitting."
What plumbers never do?
Q : What’s the one things you’ll never see a plumber do?
A: Bite his nails.
*** Plumber Jokes ***
A proud father was showing a fellow worker a picture of his five grown sons. His friend asked what they did for a living. The father said the older two are doctors and the youngest two are lawyers. The friend asked about the middle son and the father said, "Oh, he's a plumber. Someone had to pay for all the others' educations."
2 minute job
A prestigious neurosurgeon calls a plumber to tend to his leaky faucet. The problem requires an easy fix and the entire job takes less than two minutes. Before leaving, the plumber says, “That will be $200.” The surgeon replies, “I am a surgeon and even I do not charge $100 a minute.” The plumber says, “Yeah, I didn’t either when I was a surgeon. Why do you think I switched?”