Jim took his Saint Bernard to the vet. “Doctor,” he said sadly, “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to cut off my dog’s tail.” The vet stepped back, “Jim, why should I do such a terrible thing?” “Because my mother-in-law’s arriving tomorrow, and I don’t want anything to make her think she’s welcome.”
Man: I don’t know what is wrong with my dog he was fine yesterday!
Vet: its okay i’ll pick him up and take a look
Vet: hmmm i’m going to have to put him down.
Men: What! Why?
Vet: Because he’s really f**king heavy.