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Matrimonial for Rama

Here’s what Rama would write if he placed an ad in the matrimonial “Handsome, healthy, wheatish-complexioned, 3 x 10^7 years old, 5’7″ tall Prince-Regent (with green card) seeks homely, well-bred wife less than 5’4” tall. The boy (sic) has been married once, two twin sons by first marriage i.e. highly potent, first wife missing (believed to have been swallowed by her over-protective mother (don’t ask, thanks)). He is an excellent archer, but he thinks he is some kind of divine incarnation. Bit of a daddy’s boy, will do anything for the old man. Prospective girls should have NO interest in any golden deer they happen to see in the forest. (Trust me, this has proven to be A Bad Idea the first time around.) Should be willing to relocate to Ayodhya. Must like camping in the wild for several years, if necessary. Some foreign travel involved, including kidnapping and incarceration by physically deformed asuras, etc. Also, must be willing to deal with monkeys on a daily basis. Serious replies only. Include daytime telephone number.

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Written by Taureano Ent

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