Experience Jokes

204
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Wife God?

    I was arguing with my wife when I told her that she thinks that she is some sort of god. She said that under our roof she is a god. If I was a Hindu man I'd probably agree, because then I would worship the big fat elephant.

    Related:

    Elephant



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Washing

    *** Experience Jokes ***

    One day my housework‑challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma." And they say blondes are dumb...

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Advise

    When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure…” “Look in your underwear, Grandma,” he advised, “mine says I’m 4 to 6.”

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Afraid of Flying?

    *** Experience Jokes ***

    A man is on a long flight and he starts shaking. A flight attendant notices he is disturbed and asks him if she can do anything to calm him down. He says yes so she brings him a drink. An hour later he is shaking again but even worse. So she gets him another drink and brings it to him. Another hour goes by and now he is crying. The flight attendant approaches him and the man yells "Why are you people doing this to me?" The flight attendant replies "Sir calm down, why are you so afraid of flying?" The man replies "Flying? I'm trying to get sober!"

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Pumping Gas

    A 10 year old girl wanted to learn how to pump gas at the gas station. When she finished, she was so proud of herself that she threw up her hands and exclaimed. “I got gas!” No sooner did she say this than she noticed that people were looking at her and she realized it sounded like “I’ve got gas!” and she turned a bright shade of red and quickly got back in the car!