unclejokes jumbotron image

Experience Jokes

202
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    One Liner

    At first I was surprised the Holocaust happened. And then I watched German Porn.

    Other Tags:

    Holocaust

  • loading...
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Need a Break!

    I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. Santa, my co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." I jumped down and walked out of the office.... When my co-worker, Santa followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?" Santa replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"

    Other Tags:

    Santa

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Tasered

    Got tasered picking up my friend from the airport today. Apparently security doesn't like it when you shout, "Hi Jack!"

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Before after

    Before the wedding I have loved all the women on earth, after the wedding one woman less.

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Woman at the Restauant

    “I was sitting on my own in a restaurant, when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. She sent me a note: "I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants." So I wrote back: "Give me the wine. As gorgeous as you are, I'm not cutting off three inches for anyone.”