Posted on 22/11/2016
Santa on KBC!
Santa couldn't believe it - he'd made it to the last round of his favourite game show. "Congratulations, Santa ji," said Big B. "Answer correctly and you go home with five crores! "This is a two-part question on Punjab history," he continued. "The second half of the question is always easier. Which part would you like first?" Santa figured he'd play it safe, "I think I'll try the second part of the question first." Big B nodded approvingly, while the audience was silent with anticipation. "Okay, Santa ji, here is your question: And in what year did it happen?"
The Last Hope!
*** Experience Jokes ***
Santa had just finished collecting the rents from the tenants in his apartment block. But when he got home he realized that his wallet was missing and burst into tears. "What's the matter?" asked his wife. "I've lost my wallet containing 25 thousand rupees," he wailed. "I think I put it in my inside coat pocket, but it's not there now." "Did you look in the pockets of your pants?" "Yes, but the money isn't there either." "What about the side pocket of your jacket? Did you look there?" "Of course not!" he snapped. "Do you want me to lose the last bit of hope I have left?"
Bihar school teacher's killer English: 1. Pick up the paper and fall in the dust-bin! 2. Both of you three, stand together separately! 3. Will you hang that calendar or I'll "HANG MYSELF!" 4. Tomorrow call your parents especially mother and father! 5. Why are you looking at the monkey outside when I am in the class...? 6. I have 2 daughters, both are girls. 7. Stand in the middle of the corner!
Need a Break!
*** Experience Jokes ***
I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that I would do something crazy. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. Santa, my co-worker asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked, "What in the name of good GOD are you doing?" I told him I was a light bulb. He said, "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days." I jumped down and walked out of the office.... When my co-worker, Santa followed me, the Boss asked him, "And where do you think you're going?" Santa replied, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark!"
There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper floors. A characteristic of these "cage elevators" is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for them to be "called" to another floor. One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the s*xton. Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open. After the s*xton rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight: The s*xton of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling up to the heavens: "Peter! CLOSE THE GATES!!!"