Sick Jokes

154
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Headaches

    A farmer walks into his bedroom carrying a lamb under his arm. He walks over to his wife who's laying in bed. "See!" he yells, "This is the pig I have to have sex with whenever you get one of your headaches!" The wife says, "You know that's a lamb under your arm, don't you?" The farmer says, "I wasn't talking to you."

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Receptionist and the Blond

    *** Sick Jokes ***

    A blonde comes to a hotel in Toronto. Receptionist : First name? Blond : Isabel! Receptionist : Last name? Blond : Mitchell! Receptionist : Sex? Blond : Twice a day! Receptionist : No, no, no! Male or female? Blond : Doesn't matter!

  • Posted on 16/11/2017

    Already Drunk

    A drunk guy stumbles into a bar.
    The bartender says, "Sorry pal, you're already drunk, I can't serve you alcohol."
    The drunk slurs, "Ssssall right. I just wondered, you got any toothpicks?"
    The bartender decides to give the guy some toothpicks and the drunk thanks him and leaves.
    A minute later, another drunk guy stumbles into the bar. The bartender says, "Sorry man, you're already pretty well toasted. I'm afraid I can't serve you."
    The drunk says, "It's okay, may I have some toothpicks?"
    The bartender gives the guy half a dozen toothpicks and the drunk thanks him and leaves.
    A few minutes later, a third drunk stumbles into the bar.
    The bartender goes, "Sorry mate, you're too drunk for me to serve you."
    The drunk goes, "That's all right, I just want a straw."
    The bartender gives the guy a straw and as the drunk is turning to leave, asks him, "Hey, buddy, two other guys just came in asking for toothpicks, and you just came in for a straw. What's going on?"
    The drunk responds, "Oh, someone was sick outside, but all the chunky bits are gone now."



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Condom

    *** Sick Jokes ***

    The Teacher: Condom Ke Istemal Se Koi Problem Nahin Hota. Is se Aap Safe Bhi Rahte Hain Aur Sex Ke Anand Mein Bhi Koi Phark Nahin Padta. Any Doubt Ya Question? A Girl: Sir... Kya Sap Polethene Ke Andar Rakhe Gulab Jamun Ko Chus Kar Uski Mithaas Feel Kar Payenge?



  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Punctuate

    Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....