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Sick Jokes

149
  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Birdy

    One day a man goes to the beach to get a tan, he is wearing no clothes except for a newspaper to cover his privates. A girl up to him and asks ''What is under the newspaper?'' the man replies ''Oh, that's my birdy, don't touch it.'' Soon after, he falls asleep. When he woke up he realized he was in a hospital and he felt a tense pain in his private area. He sees the little girl sitting beside his bed. ''What happened?'' the man asks. ''Oh, uh yeah when you fell asleep I went and played with your birdy but then it spat on me sooo I broke it's neck, smashed it's eggs and burned it's nest.''

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    Non Veg

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Teeth

    Little Johnny was only six years old when he tried to feel his sister's friend's pussy. She slapped him and said not to because it has teeth and will bite. As the years passed, and little Johnny one day grew to become a man, he was sitting in his car with his girlfriend, rubbing her thighs and squeezing her tits, when she said, "Aren't you going to feel my pussy?" He said, "I can't, its got teeth!" "Don't be a fool," she said, "have a look if you don't believe me." So he thought about it, then took off her panties and spread her legs. He looked in and said, "I'm not surprised you haven't got any teeth with gums like that!"

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    What's worse

    Q: What is worse than having a sick cat on your piano?
    A: Having an infected pussy on your organ!

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    One Liner

    I'm so tired of racial stereotypes. Not every Arab makes bombs...some of them make Slurpees..

  • Posted on 22/11/2016

    Gun Pellets

    "A large family were going to have Thanksgiving dinner together. The two grandmas of the family were sick of people eating the pudding the night before, so they hatched a plan: They put BB-gun pellets in the pudding so they could see who ate it. The next morning, Little Johnny came down from his room and said, "Grannie, Grannie, there were BB-bun pellets in my pee pee last night." Then Little Sally came down and said, "Grandma, there were BB-gun pellets in my pee last night." Then Big Tom came down yelling, "Help! Help! I just shot my girlfriend in the mouth. She went down fine but came up with a hole going right through her tongue and out the side of her mouth!"