A little girl says to her mummy, ‘Mummy, you’re getting really fat!’ ‘Yes,’ replies mummy. ‘But remember, Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.’ ‘I know that,’ says the little girl. ‘But what’s growing in your arse?’
A woman who was rather on the large side turned up at the theatre just before the performance was due to start.
She handed the usher two tickets.
The usher asked, “Where’s the other party?”
The woman blushed. “Well, you see one seat’s a bit small for me and rather uncomfortable so I bought two. But they’re both really for me.”
“That’s fine with me, Ma’am,” the usher replied, scratching his head.
“There’s just one problem. Your seats are numbers 47 and 65.”
A 3 years old boy sits near a pregnant woman. Boy: Why do you look so fat? Pregnant woman: I have a baby inside me. Boy: Is it a good baby? Pregnant woman: Yes, it is a very good baby. Boy: Then why did you eat it?!